Monday, 14 February 2011

1 + 1 = 3

it would seem (today at least) that my finicial skills have left me somewhat in the lurch, which means I don't have what I thought I had in the bank. {TH} is a little annoyed as this is becoming a more and more regular occurance for me. I used to be A1 when it came to the household budget. I knew off the top of my head what was coming in (to the penny) and how much was going out and on what date. Yet over the last few months I've been getting things wrong. I have occationally made slight errors in the budget where I have been £10/£20 ($16/$32) out. We can usually sort this out as it's only a small amount. Over the last few months I've been getting it wrong more and more and by larger amounts. Yesterday I said we have £220 ($332) in the bank. I was way out, I hadn't moved the rent money over the 'spare' account. Which meant we actually only had £79 ($126) available. Now I believe it is a combination of various things, {TH} spending on the debit card and not telling me. How can I budget when I don't know what he's spending?

I made myself a little 'what we spend' chart in excel earlier, I'm not very good with excel, in fact I'm crap with excel lol but I made this chart and {TH} has agreed to tell me every penny he spends so I can add it to the chart and we know at a glance what we have spent and what we have left. I'm hoping this will help with the finicial problems I've been having recently. If anyone knows of some easy to follow tutorials for using excel I'd really appreciate the links :)

I also think that in general I just have alot on my mind. I can feel the depression I've not suffered with for months sneaking up on me, getting ready for a full blown melt down. I've not had a melt down like that for over 12 months, yet I can feel everything getting on top of me. I've had minor bouts of depression, but this feels like a big one getting ready to come and bite me on butt. I don't want to go into melt down (who does?) but at this moment I can't see a way to stop it. I'm going to phone and make an app with the Dr in the morning and see what she recommends. I'm doing my best to try and please everyone and feel like I am failing miserably! Yeah I've had a good day today, got quite a chunk of cleaning done, but it doesn't end there, I still have a mountain of washing to do, tea to cook for {TH} and I (the kidlets have been fed), an assignment to finish and various other little jobs that need my attention. I feel like I have bitten off way more than I can chew.
Yet I also know right at the back of my mind, that it's the depression making me second myself all the time. I know that when I'm fine, I can juggle all of these things and more standing on my head, but when depression is sneaking up on me I become more and more incapable of doing the simpliest things in my daily routine. So for now I have to carry on as best I can, knowing that once the cloud lifts I will be fine again, it's just getting through the day while this cloud surrounds me making everything a little foggy.

1 comment:

  1. You're so busy right now hun, it's not surprising that you're feeling a bit overwhelmed.
    Find 5 minutes for yourself somehow, lock yourself in the bathroom if you have too ;)